Love makes the world go round

There is a charming old saying:

love makes the world go round”

‘Love’ was replaced by ‘money’ in the 1966 Musical, Cabaret but fortunately several artists, most recently, Jennifer Lopez, have brought ‘love’ back to its rightful place. For me, there was never any question or doubt; love is all that matters, love is all there is. Without it, all the money in the world means nothing. The more deeply I understand the nature of our thoughts and that we are each living in a self created reality, the more I see that external trappings, like money, can never bring us happiness. If it did, all rich people would be happy and we know that this is not the case. A few sad and recent celebrity suicides are; Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain and Alexander McQueen. These tragic self-inflicted deaths, along with those of lots of people from all walks of life, could have been prevented if the poor souls had understood that limitless love was theirs all along, if they had only been able to access it. It is very sad that the stories they told themselves were louder than the soft and gentle voice that never ever leaves us…the voice of compassion, of encouragement, of support and of love.

So many of us believe that we have to listen to our negative self-talk, when in fact, we can choose not to give it any attention, not let it grow into a demon we think is greater than us. Just knowing that our thoughts can’t harm us and that we can always, always choose love over fear is literally a life saver. We never have to believe or act upon any of our thoughts, unless we want to. You may like to read more about this in Nothing and no one can ever hurt us and Overthinking. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

What is reality?

Although they can look extremely real, our thoughts are only thoughts. If we see patterns in the shadows and imagine a horrible monster is about to gobble us up, we know that we can dismiss it as a creation of our own mind and not reality at all. Yet, when we think that we are not good enough, not as clever, organised or are lacking in some way, we fall for it hook, line and sinker. Us humans are also not very good at believing praise, each time choosing to believe the warning voice in our head above it. It’s sad, is it not, that it is much easier for us to believe the negative rather than the positive about ourselves?

When we see clearly that our thoughts are not reality and that we can choose to ignore them if we like, it becomes easier and easier to choose love over fear in any and every moment; react with wisdom and clarity rather than defensiveness and insecurity. Our thoughts come and go, and our feelings change with them; this is why sometimes you’re in a ‘good’ mood and sometimes you’re in a ‘bad’ mood. Our factory reset is always calm and rational but because we give our thoughts the credence they don’t deserve and because we focus on the negativity we have allowed to be created, we feel we don’t have access to the love that is always ours. Just as we didn’t believe we had a choice over what we feel, nor do most of the people around you and they will probably still be believing their negative thoughts. This means that if they behave in a none-loving way, it is simply that they have lost their connection to their natural peaceful space. Knowing this, means we don’t feel compelled to add fuel to their fire and we don’t need to take anything they say or do personally. It’s such a relief when we don’t have to wear ourselves out, being worried about a reality that doesn’t exist or about things we have no power over. You could read Choosing fear over love and Why resentment is your new best friend for more about this.

When I first learned about how our thoughts worked, I remember thinking that there was a paradox of life being simultaneously very complicated and very simple. Now I see that the only complication comes from us…from our unbridled thoughts. Once we surrender to the simplicity, to the knowledge that we aren’t and cannot be in control of anything outside us…we are free. Free of suffering, anger, jealousy, hatred and all other emotions that don’t make us feel nice. So, we have a simple choice; argue with ‘what is’ and continue suffering, or let it wash over us like water off a duck’s back. I think you’ll agree that the former is the better option. No longer continually worrying about things, we find that we have much more time to enjoy life. You might like to look at Do you want to be right or happy? and Your relationship with you; love yourself.

If in doubt, love more

Once you learn that you can always choose love, your only question is, how much love you want to feel. My answer will always be “if in doubt, love more.” The more difficult a person or situation seems to be, the more love is needed. This will completely alter and improve all your relationships with your partner, family, friends and yourself.

I’m going to leave you with a Buddha quote:

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

Next week I’m going to talk about how we don’t complete the tasks we set ourselves when we’re just not in the mood. Until then, have a great week and let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Love Catherine x

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