How happy are you? Love is always the answer…whatever the question

To me, it is completely apparent that we can always, always chose love and that that is the healthiest way to be; wouldn’t it be really nice if everyone could lose fear and find love? People usually choose fear by default because they don’t know that they have any choice; don’t realise they have any control over their feelings. I used to be anxious or depressed almost all of the time and now that I understand how thought works, I am never anxious, never depressed and rarely below par in any way.

I have learned that people will, of course, only change when they decide to and that there is nothing we can do to persuade them that there is a happier, stiller, more peaceful way to be, however gentle we are.

Fortunately, I no longer feel the need to ‘help’ people by pushing my views onto them and now simply wait until they are ready, wait until they come to me. At some point, people generally notice how much I have changed and ask me my secret, I tell them that I don’t listen to my thought stories any more; that I know none of my thoughts are reality so don’t have to take them too seriously. You might like to read more about this in Nothing and no one can ever hurt us, Enjoy the relationships you’ve always dreamed of; the perfect ones and New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day?

The road to peace

There are a lot of people who enjoy self growth and personal development but there are others I tell, who look at me incredulously, presumably thinking that I must be in denial, stupid or telling an untruth. They can’t believe that being joyful and peaceful is so simple. Even if they are open to the possibility that what I’m talking about has irrevocably and beautifully changed, maybe even, saved my life, they still feel sure that whilst it worked for me, it couldn’t for them. Alas, being certain that we know something always blocks us from really knowing it so we have to keep an open heart and an open mind if we want to grow.

There are lots of roads to finding inner peace but I found the ones I tried, tended to leave me feeling exhausted because there were always things I had to do in order to top up my happiness levels and, if I had a ‘bad’ day, everything went pear-shaped and I couldn’t maintain my equilibrium; it was like juggling plates and I could never completely relax. If you have a way that works for you then I am truly pleased for you but may I respectfully ask if you really are continually and consistently happy or tranquil, or are you making compromises or settling for less than perfect?

The understanding I have is neither a method nor a strategy and there is nothing at all to do. It’s simply an explanation of the nature of thought. Knowing that I don’t need to follow or act upon my thoughts, attach any meaning to them, swap them for ‘better’ ones or anything else, means that I can simply be in the moment which I can greet with unconditional love and compassion.

Back they come

A good percentage of the naysayers come back to me sometime later and ask for my help; they can’t deny my stillness and want a part of it, they realise there is a truth in my words that they want to embrace. We humans are so good at fearing change, preferring to hold onto all manner of suffering to avoid the possibility of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire but, when all else fails, and we still have a poor experience of life, we feel we have no choice other than to change and grow. It’s a pity most of us go through suffering before we come to this understanding.

Those people then come to me for private coaching or to my meetup groups or both. It is very rewarding to watch their lives improve. When I ask them to describe the changes this understanding has made for them, they always say something that can be paraphrased as :

I have less fear now; I have more love.

What they experience is that nothing particularly phases them any more, they can step back from the heat of situations which had previously affected them, and observe the proceedings from a place safe enough to let them make and trust their decisions. They all agree that everything is easier when faced with love rather than fear.

It is not that they have decided to accept abuse from any one or stay in situations that aren’t healthy for them but rather that they can connect to the inner wisdom and clarity which is within us all, if we can just be still enough to see it. In that place, they know what the best action is, in any given moment. Long gone are their days of knee-jerk reactions, making poor decisions in the heat of the moment, feeling very limited in the number of resources they can call upon and believing that everything is desperate and urgent. They now flow comfortably through ‘good’ days and ‘bad’, trusting that they will always, always be okay. Once they deeply understand that, there is no room left for fear and there is only love.

Next week I’ll be blogging more about why I believe that love makes the world go round. Until then, have a peaceful and happy week and feel free to let me know if you have any comments or questions.

Love to you all, Catherine x

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