When will I meet you again?

I’ve been coaching clients for several years and I love it more and more with each person I help; it’s magical seeing someone’s life change before my eyes. People are usually really struggling when they seek out the services of a Life Transformation Coach; they come because their experience of life is becoming intolerable. They first meet me in varying degrees of discomfort and I am always humbled that they’re prepared to let me in on their journey.

I used to work as a clinical hypnotherapist as well as an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioner. Both were amazingly effective but I didn’t settle into either as well as I would have liked; it always seemed like I had to remember so many things…it always felt hard work. I’m not a shirker of responsibility or particularly lazy but the ‘doing’ and the structure seemed counter-intuitive; they just didn’t seem like a good fit for me. At first, it felt a bit weird changing to this, very different way of working with people but it was so worth the change; I love what I’m doing now. It feels natural, organic. I love being able to share what made such a huge difference to my life and I’m 100 % sure that it can help others too; without work, without discomfort. Whereas with in my previous therapy and coaching, it was frowned upon to disclose my own experiences, now I’m not in the slightest bit frightened of sharing because I know that it will help my clients. Another big difference, is that we had to be problem and solution focussed; I had to make people go over what they were having difficulty with, so that I could help them with a way out. I know people like to talk about their problems in order to ‘process’ them, but I can’t see how reliving what hurt us, could possibly be the right thing to do. Do you want to be right or happy? goes into this in a lot more detail. What I work with now is, blissfully, content free; my clients never need think or talk about the situations or people they think they’re having problems with, if they don’t want to. It is generally accepted that talking about our problems makes them go away but actually, all it does is keep us buried in our story, our own perspective of what happened. You may like to read more about this in Living in the now; love this moment and Overthinking. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

Let’s do coffee

A year ago, I started running a meetup group and am really enjoying it. It’s a great way for people who want to stop suffering to learn how to become happy, without spending money on coaching. It’s a lovely for them to meet other people who are also interested in self growth in a sociable and relaxed setting; we chat over coffee and sometimes cake (!) and most of us have a meal together after the two hour meeting. Although I don’t need to know what’s brought them to me in order to help them massively improve their lives, it’s interesting when they do share. When someone discloses what is a huge difficulty for them, the other group members usually don’t agree that the ‘problem’ is a big deal; they feel they could easily deal with it. When it’s their time to explain what’s causing them lots of trouble, and the others admit that they wouldn’t find it a problem, the person sharing often begins to accept the possibility that their issue maybe isn’t so huge after all.

He shoots, he scores

Occasionally, we set ourselves goals to reach for. A few sessions ago, my group all decided they were ready to face and conquer their fears; to believe that however scary their thoughts were, they were only thoughts and need not be believed or allowed to stop them achieving whatever they set their minds to. I remember that one particular, single lady shared that she very much wanted to go on holiday but felt afraid of going alone. During that session, she acknowledged that she wasn’t scared of the holiday (of course) but of her thoughts around the holiday. She realised that she didn’t need to listen to the negative and limiting stories her thoughts were telling her; she saw that the thoughts were merely a way for her subconscious to try and spare her any unnecessary embarrassment and discomfort at not having anyone to travel with; she also grew to understood that she did indeed want to holiday and was resilient and independent enough not to be worried whatever anyone else thought. She told us she was no longer ashamed of not being in a relationship at the moment an whilst she felt that booking a holiday was quite a biggie, she set herself the goal of booking one within a month. She came to the very next meetup, with a big grin, and informed us she had booked a cruise and was very much looking forward to it. Her success was contagious and brought a positivity to the whole room; it helped the others feel more confident about achieving their own goals.

My ways of coaching aren’t mutually exclusive; some people come to private coaching and also to the meetup group. Everyone has their own reasons for seeking my help but I guess they like the one to one attention of spending a concentrated hour with me and also enjoy the more laid-back and supportive community feel of the group.

It’s our group, not my group

Now we’ve been meeting for just over a year, people are really giving helpful input and I feel their comments massively help the newer members; it shows them that wisdom, peace and happiness belong to us all, not just the ‘leader’. I think they might often feel more able to identify with the others than with me, initially. I’m happy whichever way they choose to improve their experience of life. This reminds me of a recent blog post I don’t care how you get here, get here if you can.

Next week I’ll be exploring kissing! Until then, have a fabulous week and let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Love, Catherine x

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