I don’t care how you get here, get here if you can

Oleta Adams released her single, Get Here, in 1990; in it, she beseeches her lover to come to her by any method possible, not caring how he gets to her… by train, plane, caravan, boat etcetera, as long as he gets to her.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the way I found I was able to reconnect to the wisdom, peace and happiness that I know we were all born with. Previously, I hadn’t understood that we still have that peace… that pure love within us…that it’s just buried under our life stuff and our overthinking about that. You can read about the amazing day when I managed to see beneath my insecurities and fears and became free in New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day?

My way or the highway

My epiphany was so awesome that I wanted to shout it from the roof tops, wanted to share my joy with the whole world, wanted everyone to feel the freedom and stillness that I had rediscovered. Since then, and slightly less puppy like (?!), I have helped lots of people massively improve their experience of life. For me, the way I achieved such happiness was always the way.

At first, I didn’t want anyone to talk to me about other ways that had worked for them….I thought my grasp may be a little to tenuous to be shaken….I didn’t want to risk losing connection again, to the wonder that I had found. I needn’t have worried; what worked for me is a simple understanding of how life works. There is nothing to do or remember, just a gentle way to be. Once I understood it, I could never not understand it; I was truly and permanently free.

All roads lead to Rome

The more I shared my understanding…and moved in the circles where people were interested in self knowledge and growth…the more I heard of ways that had helped others. At one point, I would have jealously guarded ‘my way’ and not given any attention to alternatives, but I became curious…

People told me that what had helped them was prayer, or meditation, breathing techniques or EFT, yoga or Buddhism, to name a few. Though I was, and still am to be honest, sure that they weren’t having quite as good an experience of life as I was, I couldn’t deny that they were doing a lot better than most people. Being in their presence, I experienced an almost palpable gentleness; a softness and kindness that is all to often missing.

We are all on a journey, those of us who have chosen the path to ‘enlightenment’, to ‘spiritual awakening’ for want of better words; we are each finding ways of being that suit us. Sometimes we falter, take a wrong turning or completely take ourselves off the route for a while, but we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. Some of us run, some walk, others meander; all of us find a love and stillness that we didn’t have access to before.

It’s okay not to want to join the party

I’m very aware that those of us who have been lucky enough to stumble across a way to be happier can be rather (sometimes, very) smug and sanctimonious; it’s because we’re so overjoyed but I really do apologise for my part in this. Who am I to say what’s best for you? For anybody? When I’m coaching, running my meetup or writing this blog, I can talk freely because people are with me to help them improve the quality of their life. At other times, I am learning to shut up! It’s one of the most difficult but worthwhile skills I’ve ever tried to master! It is absolutely none of my business, however much it feels that it is, whether my friends and family choose to follow a journey of self exploration or which way they go about it; it is completely up to every individual what they want to do with their own lives. There is no wrong or right and I would be extremely at fault for suggesting anything else. If I have learned one thing from my journey it is that I cannot change anyone or anything other than myself. Sometimes people decide to change when we ask them to which leads us into thinking we changed them, but we did not. In the same way, Nothing and no one can ever hurt us unless we let them. In fact, I have found that when we do try to change people by asking, begging, cajoling, nagging, bullying or using any other method, they often simply become stubborn, dig their heels in and refuse to change under any circumstance!

The right reasons

I just hope, that if you recognise this trait in yourself, you don’t decide to turn your back on a journey that could seriously improve your life, merely because of obstinateness. There are lots of reasons people decide that personal development is not for them, fear being the greatest factor; they hold onto any number of outmoded ways of thinking that are no longer benefiting them, because they are scared that the alternative will be no better. All I can tell you is that my life is immeasurably better now and it is never too late to make changes…by whatever method.

Don’t get me wrong, I still firmly believe that the only way to alleviate all suffering is the simple knowledge that we don’t need to believe in, let alone, act upon our thoughts, that we simply need to be, but my wish for everybody to experience more peace and happiness is far greater than my wish that their life becomes perfect in exactly the way mine has.

I don’t care how you get here, get here if you can.

Next week I’ll be talking about how very hard life is. Until then, have a lovely, easy, flowing week and let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Love, Catherine x

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