Everyone won’t love you; love them anyway

I am so grateful that I have learned to always choose love over fear in each and every situation; it has changed my life phenomenally. You may like to read New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day?, Choosing fear over love and How happy are you? Love is always the answer… whatever the question for more on this. It took me a while to rewire my brain to see the good, the positive in everything, but is has been an absolute life-changer. I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is not to spend most of my life feeling resentful, angry, jealous, depressed or anxious; to no longer have to answer to my emotions.

I now feel in control, free and truly happy.

In such a state of bliss, at first, I was desperate to share what I had learned, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops! Fortunately I now know that however much I’d like the whole world to be as happy and peaceful as I am, it isn’t always appropriate to lecture people and they will come to me for help, only when they are ready.

I read a nice quote recently:

“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment”

I love coaching and running my meetup group because they are the times that people are ready and interested to hear what I have to say and I know that their lives are going to improve dramatically too. I feel blessed that I can talk freely to them, about how much my life has changed.

Love is always…always available

Knowing that love is always, always available to us, means that we don’t have to act upon or even listen to our thoughts; means we don’t have to be slaves to our feelings.

To clarify, the love I’m talking about is kindness, compassion, empathy, understanding, softness and gentleness. I believe we’re all one, all part of consciousness, and it makes sense to me to love others without judgement.

The totally awesome thing is that once we are connected to love, it doesn’t matter one jot what goes on around us; it is literally none of our business. It can pour down on our parade; negotiations can go badly, haters can hate….and we can be tranquil, serene, calm, clear and wise, unaltered by anything on the outside of us, able to respond rationally and sensibly.

You see why I say my whole life’s changed? If you’re anything like I used to be, you’ll be constantly exhausted by your overthinking. Let me help you.

Buying into our feelings

When we have a thought or a feeling that accompanies a thought, we tend to believe we have to act on it. This leads us into all kinds of problems. For instance, if we are hurt by or angry with someone, we are likely to treat them badly. I now understand that I don’t need to believe my thoughts and feelings, let alone do anything about them. I know that my feelings only and always come from me, are a reflection of my mood and nothing to do with the person I think they are. This amazing news means that I can react with untainted love. Even if the person involved were a ‘bad’ person, which can’t be the case because people only act badly when they are defensive and insecure, treating them with hate can only ever inflame the situation. You might like to read Enjoy the relationships you’ve always dreamed of; the perfect ones to understand this better.

What reacting with fear and hatred does, even more than make bad states of affairs worse, is make us feel horrid. If we stay calm and grounded, we are able to choose our reaction wisely. I am not saying that you ‘shouldn’t’ feel as you do, rather that it is healthier for all concerned if you choose to act from a loving rather than fearful place.

Doormat

Some of you might be thinking that this would be excusing people’s bad behaviour or turning you into a doormat, but actually, it simply keeps you calm so that you can make clear decisions about what to do, if anything. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, just that you aren’t allowing yourself to be pulled into dramas and in doing so, lose the joy and peace of the now…which is all you ever have.

Are we frightened of love?

People are now much more open about using the word ‘love’ in friendships, than ever before, so much so that the word sometimes seems to be in danger of losing any real meaning. At the same time, there seems to be some reluctance to using it in its purest and truest sense.

I wonder of we think that showing love means that we are weak? It doesn’t, of course, but us humans don’t usually let a little thing like fact stop us from believing anything.

A few weeks ago, I felt so full of love that I sent a message to all my close friends and family, telling them how much they meant to me; I was very surprised that I hardly got any responses. Maybe it was too ‘out there’? Too intimidating? Too cringy? I had assumed that the people I sent it to, thought like me which shows that we never know what anyone is thinking, even if they tell us; my friends were certainly talking the talk but it seems may not be walking the walk.

I sent it for all the right reasons but maybe wouldn’t have if I’d realised it wouldn’t be very well received. If my dearest friends, people I thought were comfortable with emotion, couldn’t deal with the kindness I, their close fiend, extended, how do people generally cope with genuine, unconditional and non-judgemental love?

It’s an interesting question but not one I need or even want to explore; for my own well-being, I will not be put off acting from my innate place of love and compassion. I will always, always choose love; for me, love is always, always the answer .

Next week I’ll be talking about not caring about what others think of us. Until then, have a love-filled week and let me know if you have any comments or questions.

Love Catherine x

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