Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

I love Instagram; I’ve met some truly lovely people and been made to feel supported and safe within a community of friendly and like-minded people. I use my account to raise awareness, that no one needs be a slave to their emotions, nobody needs to feel a prisoner to their anger, stress, jealousy, depression, anxiety or any other feeling they don’t enjoy. I used to suffer from what, I believed were, uncontrollable mood swings. I am forever grateful that I found a way to be free of the shackles of my terrible tempers and struggles. I love nothing better than sharing it and helping others; I want you to enjoy the peace and happiness I now always have in my life.

Scaling the mountain

It took me a while to understand even the basics of Instagram; thank goodness for the lovely @lifecoach_julie who helped me over a few hurdles and introduced me to some features I didn’t know about. Soon, I felt ready to learn and take on a little more so I decided to reach out further by writing a welcome message to everyone who started following me, introducing myself and inviting them to read my blog. Some people had welcomed me with a message and it seemed professional, if sometimes a bit ‘salesy’. I want to come across as human…as authentic…as me. If you can recommend any ways of keeping it real but saving time on admin, please do let me know.

Feeling super-organised, I wrote two messages; one for people I chose to follow and one for those who had followed me first; I saved these two messages in my Iphone notes. I intended to personalise them whenever I wanted to but save time on writing out the whole thing several times a day.

There’s no time like the present

I started using my messages straight away and it went really well…until I sent the wrong message to someone, thanking them for following me, when they hadn’t; I felt very silly and small indeed. Hopefully, I told myself, positively, they wouldn’t even read my message or, if they did, not notice I’d made a mistake…or not care. Unfortunately, that little voice in my head was giving me all the “I told you, you’d mess up, loser” and “it was always going to be obvious you were winging it” type of criticisms. Maybe the recipient would judge me to be an idiot, which I was. Who on earth did I think I was, to imagine for a moment, that people would be interested in my welcome message, invitation to read my blog, my page or even me??

Luckily, of course, I knew that I had a choice here; I knew that I didn’t have to listen to any thoughts that I felt weren’t serving me correctly, weren’t coming from a place of love. I understood that these thoughts were only trying to protect me from ‘making a fool of myself’ or ‘getting out of my depth. I knew I’d thought this through, though, and that if I made mistakes along the way, they were just a sign that I am human. You might like to read Feel the fear and do it anyway and You want to be strong? Protect yourself; fight off the competition or more on this.

The pressure!

It is because we are all trying to hide our mistakes that there is so much pressure on us to be ‘perfect’. I realised that I no longer felt the need to compete with anyone and that I wasn’t scared of looking daft. So I continued on with my method of welcoming and connecting with people. Some people ignored me, as I knew they would, and I was okay with that; I didn’t take it personally. Most people didn’t ignore me and I got some really nice messages back.

I continued sending out my messages…and four days later, I pasted in..and sent…a note I’d been sending to my meetup group. I’d thought I’d copied my new follower message but obviously hadn’t, because my meetup letter was still in there from the day before. D’oh! How embarrassing! Here we went again; what a twit I was, running before I could walk, looking ridiculous and stupid. There were those protecting thoughts I’d managed to ignore a few days earlier. As previously, I recognised them for what they were, messaged an apology and smiled to myself. At one time, I would have felt miniscule and foolish for days…weeks even…but not now, I simply shrugged off the unsolicited thoughts, not giving them any further attention. It was such an amazing relief not to be trapped by my own mind!

I think I’ve made my point but, for your further amusement I may as well tell you about my next blunder….sending my shopping list out to one follower! I sent another apologetic message and….guess what? I built a better rapport with him than I would have, using the conventional method! He didn’t mind that I was merely human and he found it funny…in a kind, non judgemental way. Even if he hadn’t taken it well…what would it have mattered? If he had thought of me as lacking in some way, that would be his stuff, his fear…not mine. I was okay either way; we are all always okay.

If any of you reading this, received one of my my daft messages, I hope you had a good laugh about it…we need more laughter.

When we show our vulnerability, our humaness, we gives others the permission to do the same.

Next time I’ll be talking about attachment. Until then, have a great time and let me know if you have any questions or comments, or would like me to coach you.

Catherine x

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