Feel the fear and do it anyway

Feel the fear and do it anyway is a book by Susan Jeffers; its title has become a household name. The idea of not allowing fear to stop us doing what we’d like to is very dear to me. How many of us never do the things that set our souls on fire because we’re too scared? Whether you’ve turned down an invitation to join your friends white water rafting because you might hurt yourself, refused to visit a foreign country because you are frightened of flying, or turned down a fabulous meal out because you’re worried you won’t understand the table etiquette, you have missed out on something you would have enjoyed had it not been for your reticence.

I’m not talking about doing things you dislike the idea of, only things that you do like the sound of but let doubts get the better of you. Be careful though, that you’re not managing to convince yourself you hate extreme sports, exotic holidays or fine food rather than admit, even to yourself, that you’re afraid.

All fears aren’t about adventuress pastimes; your fears may be about anything from being in public places to being alone in your home. Whatever you are fearful of, I understand that it is very real to you yet your friends may well not share your fear and whilst you’re having the heebie-jeebies, they may think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill and have nothing at all to worry about. Don’t feel belittled if people don’t share your concerns, I can guarantee that they all have fears too and that you could easily not be fearful of what is very real to them. We’re all unique but we all get frightened sometimes; this difference in subject shows that our fears are not a thing, they’re merely a perspective.

You’re frightened? Show up anyway

The wonderful thing that I have learned through this understanding that I share in my blog posts, is that we don’t need to act on or even believe our thoughts. So, if you’d like to spend time with the cool kids but are scared that you’re, in some way, ‘too inadequate’ to join them, you can simply ignore your negative self-talk stories and go and hang out with them. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen? Once we realise that things very rarely turn out anywhere near as badly as we feared and that we will be okay whatever happens, we cannot be held to ransom by our worries and phobias any longer. Have a look at Nothing and no one can ever hurt us.

You weren’t actually scared of the group shunning you and that would be unlikely to happen, but of your insecure feelings. We’re never scared, of what we think we are. For example: you’re not scared of flying, you’re scared of your thoughts around being out of control. You’re not scared of losing your job, you’re scared of your thoughts about not being able to feed your family. You’re frightened of fear. It is entirely your choice whether you continue being frightened and miss out on a lot of fun, or ignore the scary thought stories and jump into new adventures with both feet. You might like to read more on this in I’m just not in the mood! I know which I would choose. I would choose love; the opposite of fear, the place where I can do anything I set my mind to.

Nothing to fear except fear itself

Once you can truly let go of fear, there is simply nothing to lose and everything to gain; this is where the magic happens, where your life totally changes. Making decisions from a loving rather than a fearful place is a complete game changer.

I’m sure you’ve considered the question

What would you do if time and money were no object?

I could list lots of things I’d try if I could afford them or fit them in but the things I think I’m scared of wouldn’t get as far as the list, so I prefer:

What would you do if there was no fear?

Thanks but I’ve got this

I used to miss out on so much. I believed that I would rather be alone and lonely than with people I didn’t trust or doing things I didn’t like. I realise now, that I didn’t know the people I could have been friends with so didn’t actually know if they were trustworthy or not. I’d never tried the things that could have been fun so I didn’t know if I liked or didn’t like them. My subconscious mind told me they weren’t nice people or situations and that I should stay away from them to save myself the worry of being rejected or intimidated by them. There were so many times I wish I’d known I didn’t need to listen to my over protective thoughts.

Our insecurity feels very real; we totally believe that we lacking in some way, aren’t up to the task, but that doubt is only our own thoughts trying to save us from being embarrassed or showing ourselves up. Fortunately, I have now learned to do the things I want to do and ignore the over zealous ‘help’. Free from fear, I am free to choose exactly what I want to do….and you can be too.

I will leave you with this quote from the title book:

If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possibly have to fear? The answer is nothing.”

Next week I’ll be talking about doing something new to achieve new results. Until then, have a fear free week and let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Love Catherine x

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.