Where can I find love?

I wonder if you took me up on the challenge that I set in last week’s post, I’m just not in the mood!? In that blog, I talked about the frequent social media memes that suggest:

Living each day as if it’s our last

Whilst I like the idea of living life mindfully and enjoying each moment, I’m not at all keen on thinking about the end of my physical life with its likely sadness and pain; actually, I choose not to dwell on anything unpleasant…more about this later.

Science tells us that imagining sad or other nasty things produces exactly the same physiological effects in our bodies as the real thing does; we often whip ourselves up into a frenzy of anxiety that floods our systems with chemicals that can do a whole lot of damage to us. We are told that stress leads to headaches, IBS, rashes, indigestion and pain to name but a few symptoms but I also believe that it can cause much more serious conditions. Stress is terribly damaging and yet for some baffling reason, worrying and fearing the worst are very addictive. I remember that I used to, on some level, enjoy imagining sad events and the associated drama. Now that I have learned to be perpetually peaceful, I cannot fathom why I wasted so much time worrying about things that were very unlikely to happen. On the rare occasions that anything horrible did occur, I was far too worn out by anxiety to deal with it efficiently or effectively. You may be able to relate to this type of unproductive overthinking. You can read more about this in Overthinking. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

I love fully living each moment rather than letting life pass me by whilst my mind’s distracted by unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, so I decided to choose to live each day as if it’s a special day, like my birthday; to live each day as if I’d chosen it, as if it is exactly what I wanted.

My challenge was to ask you to do the same. It might take a bit of practise at first and there may even be a few setbacks but, trust me, it is so worth it.

Is it behind the sofa?

We all want love, peace and happiness in our lives and use up a lot of energy trying to find them. We assume that these blissful feelings are somewhere outside us…most likely in events, possessions or people (where they are not) so we spend our lives looking in the wrong places. Now that I have discovered exactly where love is, I can tell you that you are no more likely to find it in lovers, friends, babies, holidays or anything else outside you, than you are down the back of your sofa!

I’ll let you into the beautifully simple secret; love, clarity, wisdom, peace and happiness are all within you. They always were, and whilst you’re busy searching, you are missing seeing them right in front of your nose. You may like to read New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day? and Your relationship with you; love yourself for more about this.

So…did you take the challenge?

If you did, well done you for choosing to live each day as if it’s special, as if it’s your birthday. I’d really love to know how you got on. If you didn’t take me up on it, that’s okay, you can start anytime you like…how about right now? You have nothing to lose and a brand new perspective on life and a world full of love to gain.

It may be hard for you to accept that all the love you need is within you, that it sits in your stillness, that when we peel away all the life stuff, all the fear, love is what is left. I know that people often don’t think themselves worthy of such pure, limitless and unconditional love but please believe that you are. We were all born perfect, without fear, with only pure love. I like to think of that newborn us as our soul. Life’s experiences layer on top of our soul and we lose connection to the love. This lack of connection often makes us believe that the love is no longer within us but actually, it never, ever gives up on us, never leaves us. Any time we like, we can reconnect to it.

We are complete and don’t need anything or anyone

It is a truly beautiful feeling when we realise that we don’t need anything or anyone to complete us; it was a complete life-changer for me and it’s been a further joy watching client after client reconnect to their innate love and peace.

Love is our factory setting; our thoughts come and go and with them our feelings, but however far away we think we are from love, our thoughts and mood will naturally return there. Unfortunately, because we believe, incorrectly, that we have to pay attention to or act upon our thoughts, we innocently keep ourselves in places of suffering. As soon as we understand that thoughts are transitory and not, in any way, reality, we can simply let them come and go without attaching to them. Before we know it, our suffering ends and we find that the love which was so illusive to us, is completely under our control.

In this happily contented state, we are able to love people and situations without needing to. I talk a lot about this in Your relationship with you; love yourself.

Far from this being less fulfilling than the intensity and neediness that so many of us bring to relationships, it is infinitely more satisfying and rewarding than you can imagine.

I am reminded of a Marvin Gaye quote:

If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else

If you decide to find the wisdom, peace and love inside you and take my challenge, you too will soon find abundant love and every day will be special.

Next week I’ll be talking about women supporting women…and why men are being pushed aside. Until then, have a fabulous week and let me know if you have any comments or questions.

Love, Catherine x

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