What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger

A few months ago, in my blog post Open up to the possibilities; seize this moment, I wrote a little about the licensed convenience store I used to own and manage. I only mentioned it to illustrate how we humans can very easily get distracted from our purposes by the day to day stuff that life lays in our path. I also wanted you...dear reader...to know that, even in our worst times...and that time was certainly one of my very worst...there are still opportunities....if only we could open our hearts to see them. 

Step away from the pain
I help some people who have held onto pain and heartbreak for more than half a century! Half a century!! I am so very grateful that I have not only learned to step so far back from erstwhile damaging situations that they no longer hold any power over me, but also that I can help others do the same. 
Now that I don't hold onto the scary 'life's so hard' stories I used to tell myself, I was actually quite surprised when one of my gorgeous Instagram friends Direct Messaged me as soon as she'd read my blog, asking 
	“So what happened after having your tyres slashed and windows broken??”

That was then and this is now   
It seems, now, almost like it was somebody else's life or a film I watched. It was so emotionally removed from me when I wrote that blog post that I didn't feel like I had to finish the story. Yet I do remember it being horrifically personal...dreadfully real...at the time.  
So, to get those of you who haven't read the blog post, up to speed, I had tens of thousands of pounds stolen from me by some of the thirteen staff I employed in my busy little shop. It would have been impossible for them to get away with that amount in goods, of course, so they used my electronic devices to steal from me; the lottery and particularly the Paypal machines. I was completely new to shop owning and they easily stayed one step ahead of me, for months, by ensuring they made the tills tally at the end of the day and using evermore complicated and clever ways of conducting their theft. 
Meanwhile, I was flailing around helplessly trying to bung the hole that my hard earned cash was haemorrhaging through. I had no idea who I could trust and was finding it increasingly hard to function with dangerously little sleep. I was having a hard enough time trying to fit in watching the covert footage from the camera the police had installed for me, let alone parenting my two poor teenage children.
I was In the middle of that mess when an old friend told me a quote that was new to me :- 
	“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” 
It became my mantra...I wasn't going to let the situation or my employees break me...I wasn't going to give up and let it beat me. Back then...I was not in touch, in any way, with the wisdom, peace and happiness that I now know is always...always available to us all...and whilst I couldn't see a way out of it, I was stubborn and determined. 

The end.....the beginning
Somehow I found the time and strength to go through all the evidence and discover the culprits. The police were a massive support and held my hand through the whole process. The day I had to confront the perpetrators was a toughie but the police were with me and frog-marched them out of the store in handcuffs. That day was filled with many different emotions but one thing I knew, for sure, was that I didn't have it in me to be a shop owner. 
It was time to move on. I had seen too much and had lost my trust in the whole staff as well as my enthusiasm for being a shopkeeper. I had put a manager in charge, some years previously and she thought she could do a better job than me; I had to agree with her. She asked if she could buy the business from me. I was beyond excited to have a buyer but could have won an oscar by playing it cool and sticking to the price I wanted.
Selling a commercial property involves even more red tape than a residential one but eventually it went through. Phew.

I still own the bricks and mortar and get a monthly income for the lease; it was the best possible outcome for me and my family. It gave us a wage without the time and work. 

I often find myself wishing I'd known then what I know now because it would have been sooo much easier. I couldn't have changed what happened, of course, but I could have chosen my reaction...I could have avoided making a bad  situation into a terrible situation.
Focusing on my disappointment  of not understanding what I know now, earlier, is crazy! Why would I lose the happiness of now by wishing it had been then?? Why would I do that to myself? Why do we do that to OURSELVES? Wish we'd met our partners earlier? Gone self-employed earlier? Learned to dance earlier?

Life is whatever you think it is
Whether you choose to love or hate your life...and I promise you it is a choice even if it doesn't feel like it...your life will be just as expect. I choose to meet every single moment in my life with grace and love; I can honestly tell you my life is totally amazing now...and NOW is all we have, right?
Whatever happens in our lives, we all have the limitless resources within us to cope effortlessly.

Please reach out if you’d like to learn more….I can help you love yourself and be happier than you’ve ever been.

Next month I’ll be talking more about how you can love your life, every day, as much as I love mine. Until then, I wish you a peaceful and happy time and am always here if you have any questions or comments.

Please contact me for a chat if you’d like me to coach you happy.

Catherine x


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