When nothing is certain, anything is possible

It doesn’t seem to me that those of us who are lucky enough to have a comfortable life, have the same motivation for change and improvement as our less fortunate brothers and sisters. Whether we choose to bring it to the front of our minds or not, we are immeasurably better off, financially, than ninety percent of earth’s population. When we think of those who have less, materialistically than us, that’s if we think of them at all….do we judge them? Because they haven’t had as good an education as us? Because they haven’t learned the social skills we have? The etiquette? Do we pity them because they haven’t had the opportunities we have? Because they don’t have our lifestyles? Truthfully?

Some people have so little, that they have to concentrate in order to feed themselves, whilst we yearn for an even better, happier and more exciting life than we already have. Sadly the poor, despite their strong motivation are the ones with the least resources and spare energy to spend on their personal growth. As they ricochet between crises, lack of money and keeping their heads above water, the last thing on their priority list is reading a self-help book or attending a gong bath.

Priorities

They say that no one is too busy to stay in touch with a friend, read a book or anything else; they’re simply choosing to prioritise something else. I agree that this is the case for those of us in the lucrative and sheltered western world where most of us could choose to spend a little less time playing squash or going out to friend’s houses, dinners or shows, but this doesn’t necessarily work with people who spend almost all of their existence, surviving. Don’t get me wrong, people can choose to do whatever pleases them with their own time…I am in no position to judge…. I just think it might be better if we were all honest about it, at least to ourselves. Spending time doing whatever we enjoy certainly isn’t a crime nor anything to be ashamed of, but rather than feel guilty because we have other pulls on our time, let’s embrace the luxury and feel grateful for it…our world changes when we swap guilt for gratitude. If we are truthful about our choices, we are in a better position to manage our time successfully and often achieve more.

You think too much

One thing that eats our time and stops us lucky first world people doing all the great stuff we want to, is overthinking. You might like to read Overthinking. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! It doesn’t seem to make sense that thinking can take up time…but I’ve proved it time and time again with myself and my clients. Thinking and overthinking about things that haven’t even happened yet and are, let’s face it, often pretty unlikely to ever happen, causes our clogged up brains to become inefficient and slow. Focussing on now…on this very moment….clears away our mental clutter and actually frees up our time. Unfortunately most of us haven’t discovered this or don’t believe it is impossible, so carry on chasing our own tails and feeling continually busy and increasingly overwhelmed. It is because of this overthinking cycle, that many comfortably off people are unwittingly overcomplicating their lives, thus having an unpleasant experience, whilst people who live a simpler life are often happier, despite not having the trappings we are lucky enough to take for granted.

Make yourself comfortable

Maybe we have become too comfortable…too complacent. People who are living hand to mouth are only ever one meal away from having no food, one night’s sleep away from having no shelter. For them, nothing is certain; nothing. Us ‘fortunate’ ones, worry about what mobile phone we should get next, which trainers we should wear tonight or how we’ll cope with our mortgages when interest rates rise; we fill our heads with such utter rubbish that we often don’t have room for this moment…let alone the miracles that are queueing up to enter our lives…if only we had ‘time’ to see them. Those miracles could be under our very noses, jumping up and down excitedly, but we are unable to see them because we’re too busy post-morteming the past or worrying about things that may or may not happen in the future; things we won’t even remember in a year’s time.

You have everything you need

So for a moment, let’s consider someone without our certainty that tomorrow, we’ll still have a roof over our heads and food on our tables; the people we feel sorry for, the people we may judge as lacking. Isn’t that person more likely to see the miracles around them? The opportunities? The sheer beauty of the present moment? The infinite possibilities? They might not have the time for yet another lunch date but their lives and, more importantly their minds, are likely to be much less full.

I’m not saying, for a moment, that we should immediately give away our physical possessions and quit our jobs in order to be happy, any more than I’m suggesting poor people are never sad. What I am saying is that things outside us, can’t take us away from the precious present, unless we let them…whether those external things are rising interest rates or needing to forage for our next meal. You can read Living in the now; love this moment for more on this.

We humans always have within us, all the resources we ever need to live a peaceful and happy life. Whoever we are.

Rather than feeling ‘better off’ than some people, maybe we could simply send love…and of course money if we can. Rather than feeling supercilious…maybe we could see that we could actually have more to learn from others than others have to learn from us.

If things outside us could make us happy, there would be a total absence of suicides amongst the rich which unfortunately isn’t the case. It would also mean that all poor people would be unhappy; which isn’t true either. You might like to read Nothing and no one can ever hurt us.

We’re so used to controlling everything from what type of milk we have in our coffee to the destination of our annual holiday that we start believing we’re in control of everything. In reality, we are in control of very little. We can’t control the way other people think or act (however much we think we can), we have no real power over how our counties are run ….we can’t even control the weather! So actually there aren’t too many certainties. Once we realise that, rather than fighting what is (where we will always, always lose and therefore suffer) we surrender to fact that we can’t change anything on the outside of us…and suddenly our possibilities are truly limitless….

I’ll leave you with this quote

Some people are so poor, all they have is money

Next time I’ll be talking about confidence. Until then, have a fabulous week and please let me know if you have any questions or comments, or would like me to help you on a one-one basis.

Catherine x

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