Be The Change

You are nearing the end of your last section…but this is just the beginning of a totally new…so much better, gentler, happier and more peaceful way of life.

Occasionally, you will still find yourself meandering down your old path, but, as your understanding deepens, it will happen less and less often, be less and less intense and take less and less time to recognise and reroute yourself.

You will love knowing that your only limits are ones you have made yourself…your only constraints, ones you have constructed.

More and more clearly, you will see that there is only ever love…or an absence of it. Any lack of love is an illusion you’ve built around yourself as a fortress.

When you are ungrounded…when you feel insecure in any way, your subconscious mind helps you hide away and protect yourself from more pain. This barrier between you and everything else, might feel better than the suffering you used to endure before your thoughts started being retrained, but shutting off your feelings isn’t what this is about.

To be clear, this is not about becoming a robot and not feeling anything; it is about understanding you will still have feelings, but that you don’t need to let them take over.

You will learn to either accept your feelings…own them…embrace them…love them…or choose to turn gently away from them…rather than allow yourself to become numb to them.

When you desensitize yourself, it is like slipping a thin veil around you which keeps all feeling at bay, stops you from fully interacting with, and truly feeling the world, thereby diminishing your chances of joy…of beauty…of love…of magic.

It is like wearing gloves every time you touch something…and then forgetting that it was you who chose to put them on…and wondering why nothing feels quite real.

You might notice this shield as a mask; you may observe that you cannot be your authentic self in some circumstances or with some people.

But you can.

One of the ways you’ll know that your thoughts are retraining and that your mindset shifting is very well underway, is that you will no longer need to don a mask….you will always feel comfortable with showing the real you to anybody and everybody….warts and all! Why wouldn’t you? There is nothing to hide. There is nothing to fear. You are perfect!

It will matter to you not one bit, that others may not see your perfection, may not have that available to them, may even be shocked, fearful or worried by your openness and honesty…because that of course is 100% about them and 0% about you.

Give yourself full permission to accept, love and be proud of all that you are and all that you will be.

Believe in yourself…in your greatness…in your softness…in your gentleness…in your unique and exquisite value.

Feel this and remain humble…and others will feel it too.

About you….and then…about themselves.

Your challenge each day, is not to get dressed to greet the world, but rather to un-glove yourself…to allow yourself to feel the iciness of the snowflake…the heat of the sun…the bite of the wind…the wetness of the raindrop and the softness of the kiss.

Strive always to unveil your true beauty…your overwhelming perfection.

At first….you may need to become comfortable with even reading this exercise…be patient with ‘team you’ and watch as you grow.

After coaching people for well over a quarter of a century, in one way or another, and using various methods, I have learned that none of them work perfectly, consistently, permanently or, even, to be honest, satisfactorily.

Though some systems are better than others, I found that none of them fully take away feelings of stress, anxiety, insecurity, sadness, pain, jealousy, loneliness, anger, shame, guilt…..

It wasn’t until I had the amazing epiphany that completely transformed my entire life…that I found what does work. Every time.

I am forever grateful that I stumbled across the freedom, peace and joy that is available to all of us, once we learn to gently clear the plethora of ‘helpful’ thoughts that fill our minds…and that I learned, that into this space we create, flows wisdom, clarity and love.

I am also humbled and thankful that I have had the opportunity to share this with you.

This is an incredibly exciting time in your journey….it is the first day of the rest of your life. A life that you can choose to enjoy in each and every moment!

You now know –

How your mind works

The role thought plays in your life

That you never need believe any of your thoughts, you don’t choose to

Your thoughts cannot rule you

You never again need to be trapped by your emotions…a victim of your moods How to take everything less personally

How to connect more deeply with people

The only way you can ever experience life is from the inside-out. No exceptions; it only ever works this way

That you can always remain calm, peaceful and happy. Always

The depth to which you understand this, underpins the way you meet every person and situation in your life

All these are the natural result of allowing yourself to be in life’s flow…allowing your grounded and healthy intuition to lead you the right way…the way of experiencing life as it is, rather than how you think it should be.

I’d love, rather than you wait till you have reached whatever goal you have set yourself to be proud…that you be proud of yourself every step you take.

Allow this pride to motivate you…to keep you strong…to keep you growing…

Ironing boards are surf boards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. I’m so happy that you will now, never be an ironing board!

Look back through all your lessons and exercises and congratulate yourself on how very much you’ve learned.

It may be that you feel you haven’t done as well as some others (comparing your inside to their outside) or that you feel impatient to feel it more deeply than you do (urgency is one of the signs that you’re not grounded).

If you look for them…anywhere at all…you will always be able to find failings…shortcomings…and inadequacies.

But you now know that nothing positive and healthy can ever come from that…so

Celebrate each and every one of your successes

Enjoy your accomplishments

Revel in your progress

And above all

Accept, nurture and love yourself. Always.

You are now very well on your way to making every one of your days fabulous, and in a wonderful position of knowing they will get better all the time. Whatever your days are filled with, good time management will make a tremendous difference..and make your life experience even more awesome. A little clever scheduling makes everything so much easier and gives you the optimum chance to live your best life.

You will probably be aware that some things you do are likely to still make you feel pressurised, if so, prioritising your daily tasks will really help.

You can check that you’re performing everything in the correct order and if all your tasks are really more important than your time with your children? Your partner? To spend on yourself?

I find making lists incredibly useful; whether you choose hand-written checklists, mobile apps or any other method, skilful organisation is essential to modern living. A little forward planning is worth so much more than the effort it takes. Small changes in your daily routine can make huge differences.

Rather than panicking on a journey that you might not make your destination on time, you could leave a little earlier and enjoy the whole ride.

Instead of leaving jobs till the last minute when any hiccup can impact your time greatly, complete them before they become urgent and need to be rushed and probably not accomplished as well.

I don’t know all the things you have to do in your life and couldn’t and wouldn’t tell you what to do or in what order, but I know that now you have access to your calm place of wisdom, you will always know the right thing to do.

Being able to easily make and trust your decisions will help you in a great many situations; one which will be particularly helpful is being able to choose the right time to say or do something that could be seen as contentious. You may have had something on your mind all day, but is bombarding your partner the second they walk in through the door after a long day at work, really the best time?

Knowing when and how to communicate with everyone will make your whole life simpler and more tranquil.

Your future truly is whatever you make it.

Make yours fabulous!

I want to leave you with a few quotes that I found inspiring along my journey.

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past.

Letting go is knowing there’s a future”

Daphne Rose Kingma

“Don’t seek, don’t search,

don’t ask, don’t knock,

don’t demand, relax.

If you relax, it comes.

If you relax, it is there.

If you relax, you start

vibrating with it”

Osho

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door

we do not see the one which has been opened for us”

Helen Keller

“I know I am worthy.

I release the fear of not being enough”

Alex Elle

“When you have exhausted all possibilities,remember this: you haven’t”

Thomas Edison

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what you have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow”

Melody Beattie

“It’s all about choice.

You can either be angry for what you don’t have,

or thankful for what you do have”

Nick Vujicic

“Most people fail in life because they major in minor things” Tony Robbins

“You need power, only when you want to do something harmful, otherwise love is enough to get everything done”

Charlie Chaplin

“A simple shift is all you need to move from

a world of suffering to a realm of joy”

Cynthia J Hardwick

“Once you realize that all comes from within,

that the world in which you live is not projected

onto you, but by you, your fear comes to an end”

Nisargadatta Maharaj

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets, if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying

“Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner”

I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch in awe as it unfolds” Carl Rogers

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see”

Confucius

“Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose”

C.S. Lewis

“If you are willing to look at another person’s behaviour toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all”

Yogi Bhajan

“See the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see”

Wayne Dyer

“More smiling, less worrying.

More compassion, less judgement.

More blessed, less stressed.

More love, less hate”

Roy T Bennett

“All problems are illusions of the mind”

Eckhart Tolle

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”

Viktor Frankl

“There are two ways to live.

You can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle”

Albert Einstein