Discover Your Stories And Release Them

Your life is simply a mirror of the stories you continually tell yourself.

Examples of these stories :

‘I’m not good in social situations’

‘My life is terrible’

‘This isn’t acceptable’

Stories are also the reason most people feel ashamed of having ‘failed’ at finding life a walk in the park. All your feelings that you don’t like, including, among other emotions, embarrassment, defensiveness, anger, insecurity or jealousy, come down to one emotion – fear.

Fear is the opposite to love – which includes all the feelings we enjoy having.

Not everyone feels uncomfortable about accepting that their life isn’t going to plan or they spend far too much time overthinking and being stressed, but many people do, maybe you’re one of them….I certainly used to be.

You may be uncomfortable because :

It would mean having to admit you might have made poor life choices…or failed to make a choice (not choosing is a choice to do nothing!)

There is a nameless dread that locks you into pain because you daren’t admit it, and therefore miss any opportunity to help yourself or receive support.

When you allow a fear to exist without daring to look at it, it gets bigger. If you face this fear straight on, it quickly stops being scary. I have found that fear quickly dissolves away when you simply ask yourself what is the very worst that could happen. When you look at that ‘worst thing’ and know that you could survive it, fear no longer has a hold over you. When you admit difficulties and accept help, those ‘worst things’ are actually quite small, aren’t they? Most fears are.

This question works for all fears.

When you look fear in the eye, in this way, and realise that actually you have the inner resources to handle whatever happens, there is no more fear, and you dare try new things.

When you don’t face your fears, they become your limits. Far better to choose to be limitless, don’t you think?

You believe everyone else is happy and you’re the only ones in a mess.

I wonder if it has ever occurred to you that there are lots of people who might also be locked into their secrecy, and feeling exactly the same way about you?

Humans are extremely good at comparing their vulnerable insides to others’ polished outsides.

If you just admit you are struggling, not only will you find yourself able to move forward toward a solution, but you also give others permission to do the same.

Being able to offer and receive support is a wonderful reward for being authentic and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Like almost all people who find themselves in difficulty, you have spent an inordinate amount of time, searching for the solutions you desire… in all the wrong places.

You looked at your career to change because you thought if you were more fulfilled at work everything would be okay.

You looked to other people for approval – your partner, friends, family, colleagues, employer etc.

You looked to judgement. If only people and situations weren’t so irritating.

You looked to elusive quality time. You thought, if only you could pause life for a little while, everything would be okay.

You looked to money. If you weren’t squeezed financially, the pressure would be off, and you’d be happy.

You looked to family. If your families would leave you alone, you’d be okay.

You looked to space. If only you had a bigger house, you could relax more.

You looked to authors and therapists who themselves don’t know the truth I’m sharing. You will have, no doubt, looked in other places too.

The truth is that your answers…your happiness weren’t in any of those places. Though you never knew it…you had everything within you, to make your life perfect all along.

As you travel through the modules you will see more and more that the solace and solutions you are seeking can never be found anywhere outside you…and connect more and more deeply with the space in you where all your answers reside.

Become aware each time you compare yourself unfavorably to others and see if you can notice that you’re comparing your ‘worst’ bits with their ‘best’ bits.

You may also find you do the opposite – imagine you’re better than others. From now on, be aware of this and try to see them as another human, simply doing their best, with what they have, just like you.

There are lots of things you need to look outside of yourself for….but never your happiness.

Try to notice when you’re looking outside yourself for your okayness…your serenity….your happiness.

Remind yourself, that even if they’re not available to you yet, you absolutely do have all the answers you’ll ever need.

Do you ever hear the door bell or your phone ring, and feel a little knot in your stomach, because it may be bad news?

Ever see you have received a message and your heart sinks before you even open it?

Do you ever feel that “May I have a word” means “You’re in trouble”?

You may have to mull this over for a while, because your sub-conscious will try to tell you that you don’t do this….but we all do it, to a lesser or greater degree. I used to do it all the time!

Notice when this happens and allow yourself to be amused by your humanness…and then let the trepidation story go…

Your new found understanding that thoughts are not fact, will seep into every part of your life.

For this exercise I’d like you to listen to song lyrics, tv programs and general conversation….and see if you can spot the stories…

Very often your friends and acquaintances will tell you about an incident they have experienced with their partner, friend, family member or colleague, with the intention of you siding with them about some misdemeanour or other.

Usually, their argument is compelling and you have no trouble seeing that they were, of course, in the right and their adversary definitely deserved the silent treatment, withdrawal of favours or berating they were punished with.

But wait.

You’re only hearing their side of the story, and that story has been filtered through all their feelings surrounding their opponent and their ‘crime’. Every word and tone of voice they use is theirs, along with the slant they put on it.

It’s an incredibly easy mistake to make, and most other people make it too. You have a connection with the tale-teller; not only will you have built a rapport simply by being in a conversation with them, but the closer a friend they are, the more back-story you’ll be aware of….again, from their point of view.

And to make it even less factual…their thoughts, feelings and therefore views, will change moment to moment!

I absolutely get why you have believed them and whole-heartedly bought into their version of events….their description of the wrong-doing, but they and you believing it, doesn’t make it true.

I like the expression –

There are always 3 sides to a story; their side, your side, and the truth.

You only ever have your own side, your own standpoint, so everything you ever experience is only and always seen through your own set of unique experiences, memories, values and beliefs.

Because of this, you can never be completely unbiased or objective. You can never say that what you believe to be true, is true.

That which you have hitherto relied on to be fact, isn’t.

Sorry.

Not only, therefore, are you unable to depend on your own versions of reality, you cannot count on anyone else’s either.

If this is a mind-bending and unpleasant idea….you’re not alone. Most people are resistant to this; I certainly was.

It felt like a rug had been pulled from under me. I suddenly had no benchmarks, no fixed frame of reference.

Now I see it as ultimately liberating. I am unlimited by everything I thought was. I am free…and you will be free too.

It is easier to be aware of this subjectivity, the less emotionally involved you are with the situation and person involved, so, at first, you will notice that your acquaintances’ recountings are little more than tales.

The next step, will be for you to observe this phenomenon when your friends reel off stories. And then your family and partner.

Finally, because you have been re-training your thoughts each time you have noticed the subjectivity of other’s outlooks, you will be able to see this happening with you too.

Seeing a whole situation, not just your one, small, perspective of it, enables you to be less judgemental and dogmatic. It allows you to understand, empathise and remain calm.

It empowers you.

As with everything you’re learning here, you will continually come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths.

Think of recent conversations you’ve had and notice how things your acquaintance, friend or partner said, and you took for granted, were simply products of their mindset at that time.

Now look at things you have said…

And thought….

The simple and exquisite truth I share with you on this program is powerful enough to set you free, mighty enough to release you from all suffering, far greater than any words, and explains everything that happens in the human experience, yet is intangible and invisible to the eye.

Just as electricity, gravity, and magnetism are ever present but un-seeable, so is this ethereal truth. You will find it, only, by looking away from everything outside you, and instead turning your attention inward.

I have been on this journey for many years and have shared my understanding with hundreds of people. This is how I find people progress in their understandings and explorations.

I do not include it to put you under any pressure because there is no rush and this is not a competition. It’s here only for your interest.

Initially, the way you see the world will shift, as you begin to understand that you only and always experience your life through your own thought. You will also begin to connect with the love that runs through us all, if only we take the time to acknowledge it.

As you relax into your new understanding, you will begin to see a myriad of new possibilities for yourself and the whole of your life. You’ll start to see how your new way of thinking helps you in a great number of ways.

At some point, you will shift further and start to see the spiritual nature of this understanding. You’ll begin to see deeply that we are all one, all connected and you will choose to help others, to make a contribution to the world.

You will continue having deeper and more profound insights as you align yourself more fully with that which is far greater than you, and you will find your life becoming ever more meaningful.

You will see, more and more, the spiritual nature of this understanding….gently allow this to happen without impeding it by focusing on how far you’ve already come spiritually.

This understanding mercilessly holds up a mirror that shows you who you are, without regard to who you think you are or who you wish you were.

Your part in your worries, resentments and problems may be difficult and uncomfortable to admit even to yourself, yet this discomfort is nothing to go through in order to have no pain for the rest of your life!

As you travel through this program, you will come to find it is easy to differentiate between reality and the ‘reality’ you have created for yourself. As this happens, you’ll experience a growing sense, not just of control, but of integrity, purity and authenticity.

I’d like you to remember a time you denied responsibility for your role in an argument; when you blamed someone for something they didn’t deserve.

Imagine accepting the reality that you failed to take responsibility for your part in escalating the conflict.

Don’t minimise or rationalise this truth; face it and let it sink in.

I know this doesn’t feel pleasant, but facing the truth, is the way to truly move forward.

Now picture yourself owning your mistake and apologising.

Visualise being consistent with your authentic self, as the weeks, months, and years stretch into the future. Imagine doing whatever it takes to live in alignment.

How does this make you feel?