Your happy place; now on demand

A few people have asked me to explain exactly what it is I do, so they can better understand how I’m always happy these days and how I can help them live a more fulfilling and amazing life.

I’ve pondered over how to easily explain something that is almost intangible, staggeringly simple yet beautifully spiritual. I’ve come up with five main understandings that are in no particular order, and have used them as section headings. I hope they help you.

We can always choose love over fear

Although it often doesn’t seem it, it is always, always our choice how we feel. I can absolutely understand if you’re shaking your head, maybe angrily, in disagreement, because that’s exactly how I felt when I first encountered this idea. All I can tell you is that I, and my clients, are living proof that it is not only possible, but easy, to choose only feelings and moods that we like. It is surprisingly effortless to simply focus on the thoughts that lead to pleasant feelings, rather than give attention and therefore energy to the thoughts that lead to uncomfortable emotions. You might like to read Choosing fear over love for more details about this.

You may of course, still feel dubious, but I only ask that you put aside your doubts for a little while and open up to the possibility that I may be speaking the truth. For way too many years, I was so sure I knew all the answers and therefore blocked discovering something new and wonderful. Once I allowed myself to hear this new understanding, I learned to be happy every single day and I know I can help you to be as peaceful, as grateful and as happy as I am.

I cannot tell you how immeasurably better my life is than it used be. I actually thought I was handling things really well, because I was able to keep from everyone in my life, what I was going through. Even my husband didn’t know that I was regularly frightened and insecure and that I battled with eating disorders and suicidal thoughts. Having to be secretive and deceitful took its toll on me but I truly didn’t believe there was a different way for me to be.

I describe the day that changed my life forever in New day, new life; isn’t it time you had a good day, every day? I am now free, and being a victim of my emotions and spending most of my life sad, anxious, jealous and resentful is a thing of the past. I will never stop feeling grateful for this…gratitude is a great feeling.

We don’t need to act upon, or even believe our thoughts

Unwittingly, I had been keeping myself in a very uncomfortable place, by giving attention to the feelings I didn’t like. Because our thoughts look very, very real, look like fact, I had thought, as you may, that they were important and needed to be listened to. Yet they are not. However compelling, however like reality, our thoughts look, we can choose which of them to focus on.

The more focus, the more feeling

We naively concentrate on the thoughts that make us feel anxious, unhappy, resentful and so forth, because we tend to think we have to do something, almost anything, to make ourselves feel better. It doesn’t work that way; the more we focus on feeling bad, the worse we feel, the more we concentrate on feeling good, the better we feel. Isn’t that awesome?! It sounds so simple because it is simple; there is nothing for you to remember; no steps or strategies or methods to forget. Just focus on what feels nice; simples.

Nothing and no one can ever hurt us unless we let them

When something happens we can choose how to react to it. For instance, if somebody nearly pulls out into our car on the way to work, we can choose whether we get out and shout at the driver, stay in our car but blast our horn, shake our fist at him, stay silent but seethe all day….or simply let it go…simply realise that the driver must have had a lot on his mind and is probably very upset with himself for nearly causing an accident.

If you can accept that we have a choice how to respond to smallish things, then maybe you can accept that we have a choice over all our reactions. It might take a bit of practice, but I promise that it is not only possible but easy.

We can always live in the moment

Most of us waste a lot of our time, cringing over, or being nostalgic about, our past or worrying about our future….and totally missing the joy and the opportunities of this present moment. Again, this is a choice….we can always bring ourselves back to this moment, always be mindful of what we are doing this minute, always experience every single second of our life rather than getting to the end of the day and being hardly aware of anything we did. The past is useful to learn from and it is sensible to plan for the future, but the present is the only place we can actually live, the present is a gift, as they say. You might like to read Living in the now; love this moment for more on this.

We have everything we need within us

I spent half a lifetime searching for love, for peace, for clarity….for happiness. I searched in other people, in books, in nature, in material possessions. I searched more and more desperately….in all these wrong places. The day I truly realised that I had everything I needed within me was the day my life changed forever. I suddenly knew that I couldn’t find joy, beauty and fulfilment anywhere else but inside me….and that this love was limitless!

You might like to read my book, Rediscovering Wisdom, Peace and Happiness for lots more about how your life can be as amazing, as gentle and as loving as mine.

Next time I’ll be talking more about happiness. Until then, have a great time and let me know if you have any questions or comments, or would like me to coach you.

Catherine x

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