Girls on top; who needs men anyway?

More and more women’s groups are popping up on social media. Many of them don’t say they’re only for the ‘fairer’ sex but they only accept female friend requests or followers. Some of them use pink for their logos and posts or in other ways deter male interest or involvement. These groups are all about women supporting women; women having a safe, un-testosterone fuelled environment to get questions answered in a nurturing, empowering and cushioned community. Having an unintimidating and understanding space to grow and thrive gives the women in these groups a sense of belonging and comfort and unleashes in them a hitherto unavailable sense of confidence and power.

I imagine that these female friendly groups have formed as a result of the male aggression so evident of late. I’m seeing a growing number of men’s memes telling me to:

Be fierce, be awesome, be you

Prove them wrong

Be the best, f**k the rest

First place or no place

Fly with me or get the hell out of my way

Be an animal hidden in darkness waiting to strike on my prey

When did hustling become something to be proud of?

I also see how fashionable ‘hustling’ has become and am bombarded by photographs of enormous piles of money, super-expensive cars, jets, jewellery, houses and hotels. See You want to be strong? Protect yourself; fight off the competition for my worries about the loss of teamwork, altruism, charity and becoming great so that you can help others.

Is it any wonder that women are joining forces to form mutually supportive groups to escape competing in the prolific, not even veiled, aggression and greedy forum?

It is interesting to notice, though, how the role of thought works here. The more I understand the nature of thought, the more I see how we define our own, unique realities from our experiences and belief systems. Many of us females have grown to believe that our self esteem will suffer if we feel we are denigrated or belittled in any way. It’s a very compelling belief; I’m sure that most of us have memories of a time when we were put down and subsequently lost confidence. In actual fact, it was the belief that we would lose confidence that caused our loss of self assurance rather than the belittling in itself. Nothing can cause us to feel anything, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ unless we let it. You might like to read Nothing and no one can ever hurt us. The perceived safety we feel in feminine company is also understandable but not factual. We are choosing, are we not, to forget how competitive, jealous and even, sometimes bitchy women can be because we want to believe in the comfort offered by women’s only factions. We choose to believe that these groups offer more relatable guidance than could be obtained from a mixed gender tribe. Once we perceive anything, it will be reality for us and this is shown in the way that women are certainly growing from strength to strength and flourishing in all manner of areas.

Men to be the new underdogs

I just wonder if any form of exclusivity is ultimately healthy; if women start believing that they are ‘better’ than men, couldn’t the pendulum swing dangerously in favour of women, emasculating half of the human race once again, this time with men as the underdogs?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for equality and women’s rights. To pay someone less for the same job just because they are the ‘wrong’ gender is as appalling as the treatment of people who are deemed the wrong colour, religion or ethnicity. Women in the west have fought for generations for the ‘privileges’ their male counterparts have taken for granted. Those brave forerunners have shaped today’s laws and social rules and put us females in a position of unprecedented strength.

Are we now seeing the undeniable differences in the sexes and building them bigger? Our mind doesn’t like to lose control or knowledge, so what we don’t know for sure, we imagine; those imagined ideas quickly become facts to us. We don’t do this consciously, it’s simply how our minds work. We have built men up to be gruff, dominating, self opinionated, frightening or whatever else we have individually created ourselves or appropriated from our parents and inspirers. In our reality, men are, literally, whatever we think them to be.

This may be controversial but I believe that men who are gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening are gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening and men who are not gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening are not gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening.

The gruff ones are gruff

Equally, women who are gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening are gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening and women who are not gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening are not gruff, dominating, self opinionated and frightening.

What I’m saying is that we’re all different; all human. We find it comfortable to consider that our close ones think exactly as we do but it can’t and doesn’t work that way. Do our friends and family all like the same food as we do? Enjoy the same hobbies, television programs or interior design? Are they all attracted to the same sexual partners? Of course not; each one of us is unique. Whatever their backgrounds, humans have far fewer gender differences than similarities. We all want to feel safe and happy, we all like to be encouraged and praised, we can all feel intimidated, lost, frightened and unloved and we can all love and laugh.

If you enjoy non male groups then carry on enjoying them, just let go of any of your ideas that make you feel you can’t thrive in any other situation. We are all completely capable of ignoring any suggestions we want to, completely able to flourish wherever we are and completely able to learn from others, both male and female. The truth is that men are not better than women, but neither are women any better than men. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses and enjoy the support of others; I believe this is a strength, not a weakness.

Alone we are strong, together we are unstoppable

Next week I’m going to talk about pushing back fear. Until then, I hope all my entrepreneurial and non-entrepreneurial friends of all genders have a wonderfully creative and productive week and still make time for love and kindness. You may like to read The key to success has been within your reach all along. Let me know how you get on.

Love Catherine x

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.